Confessions of a TC drug dealer

Confessions of a TC drug dealer

A “drug” can mean anything from prescription painkillers to meth made in country labs. But we all know what they mean when they talk about the War on Drugs.

The lack of work right out of high school (or college for that matter) has left many Americans looking for alternative means of income. Sometimes those means don’t fit inside the confines of the law. Some might call it a product of an unfair system, the result of a world we didn’t create. Others might say it’s purely opportunistic, preying on addiction and an at-risk population. Regardless, Teddy** always knew he deserved a better life, and that no one was going to hand it to him. Success is attainable in many different ways for many different people. Right or wrong, this is what he has to say.

**Name has been changed. We’re not messing around with that drug war.


The confessions of a Twin Cities drug dealer

The beginning

How did it start?



It didn’t really start. It was always an option, more about when than if.

When you were a kid…

Yeah I started selling weed in junior high. Bricks of midgrade all full of seeds and shit. I didn’t tell my mom where I got the money, and I didn’t spend it on stupid stuff. I saved it. I had a box in the back of the closet and I kept my room clean so that she never had a reason to go in there. I was saving up.

For what?

Just the future man. I’ve always known that no one was going to give me anything, so I’ve always wanted to be right by myself.

Did you finish high school?

Yup. Sure did. Central High School class of ’08.

No college though?

No. I used all that money I saved. Got a place downtown [Minneapolis] and kept working my way up. I bought in and started selling more than just weed.

Any close calls?

With police? Naw not since I was selling weed in high school honestly. If you’re an upstanding guy not acting stupid, not trying to sell bath salts to suburban kids on Hennepin Avenue, you won’t get any trouble. Why would you? Unless somebody messes with you. Sells you out.

That’s never happened?

Not with the cops.


Yeah, I’ve been robbed. Had a really good friend, or who I thought was a really good friend, hit a lick and… Yeah I got robbed for everything I had on me. Busted my front teeth with the butt of his gun. A gun I went to buy with him matter of fact. Took me a long time to work that off. More than that though I didn’t really look at people the same way anymore.


The philosophy

Have you ever had any moral qualms?

Moral? (Laughs). What do you mean moral?

Like what you’re doing is wrong.

My brother told me it was authoritarian of the government, the “guvmint” he said, to let alcohol and cigarettes sold legally but not weed. Not lean, or coke, or party drugs. Alcohol is [as] bad as all these things but it’s not about that, it’s about what they want to regulate. So it’s up to them what is wrong. Never thought that was right. He was a smart dude, my brother.

But for what you’re giving people?

No. I’m not the bad guy. I’m the guy saving you from going to the bad guys. The guy who has a house and a car and a blunt when you stop over, the guy keeping you out of those back alleys your mom warned you about. I provide a service and I’m a professional.

So you’re the good guy.

Confessions of a Twin Cities drug dealer, TiltMN(Laughs). Well you’ll find a lot of guys badder than me.


Selling badder shit. Doing badder shit. Ripping people off, robbing people, fucking people’s lives up.

So it’s not true what they say.

Weed isn’t a gateway drug unless you want it to be. It’s more of a gateway drug for dealers than for users. I’m trying to make money and I’ll make it off anything. People who want to smoke weed will smoke weed, and people who want to go harder will go harder. People want what they want, and what they want is to get fucked up. Whether it’s a party or just to go to work.

Yeah? Going to work on Molly?

But that’s none of my business anyway. All these kids want is like adderall and painkillers so I say, fine, that’s easy. They go nuts for the legal shit. Legal shit they can’t get a prescription for, or that their parents took them off of. The things an 18 year old wants today man, it’s different than when I was 18.

But if it can be sold I’ll sell it.


The future

So what does the future hold for you?

Make enough money to buy a house in the country. In a different country I mean. No one will find me. I’ll be living that Keyser Söze life.

Which one?

Doesn’t matter. Somewhere with fancy cheese and wine. And I’ll buy my mom a house. Already paid for her car.

A car?

It was the least I could do. Raising me alone and all.

What’d you get her?

A Ford Focus Electric. She’s all about that. Her friends all jealous. Even in the hood they’re all about the future and Elon Musk electric and shit.

So what is she going to say when you disappear with your fancy cheese and wine?

(Shrugs). I’ll still call her. I’ll let her know I’m out and I’m living the good life I’m supposed to. What else could she want for me anyway, right?

No more selling drugs?

Not once I make enough, no. Nope. I’ll be legit then. Not that I wasn’t anyway.

What do you mean?

What is a drug anyway? In Hollywood it’s a night out at the club, and in Edina it’s what gets you through the day. To the government it’s anything they haven’t decided to legalize and tax. I’m not about that. It’s all a game anyway. I’m about succeeding, you know, getting mine and getting the hell out. That’s what it’s about. What else is there?

I can see it. You know, I think about it a lot. Someplace where I don’t have to worry about the bullshit I do here. Every day. Like I said nothing but good food and good drinks and good people and the sun always shining and I can just kick back and live the right way getting older.

Isn’t that what anybody wants?

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Confessions of a TC drug dealer